Five Deadly Conflict Topics

 

     This paper take five conflict topics; Why does conflict occur; Role of personality types in conflict management; Ethics and workplace conflicts; Organization conflicts; and Forgiveness, and I gives personnel experiences and interpretations of each. Throughout the paper I will relay to you the reader what approach I take to each of these conflicts in an effort to relay to you my personnel approach, and how I utilize different ways to resolve conflict. Some of these approaches have been successful and some are a result of me looking back over situations and thinking about how I could have taken a different approach. I decided to place these topics in this order to create a personnel flow that will be reviled at the end of this paper.

Why does Conflict Occur

     Conflict=emotions X level convictions. Take for example, I was raised to believe that everyone should be treated equally no matter what their religious, social, economic, racial, or even sexual beliefs, and whenever someone isn’t treated equally an emotion sparks in me, and based on my level of conviction this determines the severity of Conflict. Now take a young man that has the same level of convictions that I have and was brought up to believe that poor people are not worthy of life. In this example there is a conflict in beliefs. Belief is an acceptance by the mind that something is true or real, often underpinned by an EMOTIONAL or spiritual sense of certainty. Now if the factious young man’s level of conviction is high then he would be willing to use poor people to future his endeavors to increase his own wealth no matter the cost of the poor. You see Conviction is a belief or opinion that is held firmly. The level of firmness will dictate the level of actions. This divide based on emotions and a willingness to act on those emotions creates conflict. We could agree on everything else in life but this one thing can create conflict if we allow it to do so. Now let’s take out one of the elements out of this equation. The level of conviction, if you’re not emotionally held firm in what you believe to be true then you will have little to no desire to act. If one party has little to no desire to act on behalf of their beliefs then conflict resolution becomes easy. If you were to take the other end of the equation out of the situation (emotions) then no matter the level of conviction you have little to no conflict. If you feel have the conviction to act on something but don’t have the emotions to do so then it’s like doing something where you heart isn’t in it. You will go through the motions but if there is an obstacle in the way of you completing that motion you will just give up on it. Emotion gives us the drive to continue when all logic say otherwise. The way that I look at it is if there is no emotion involved then you have only facts and calculations to replace it with. Numbers do not lie. The calculations of numbers and facts are true so to argue with facts and numbers are only an emotional response. You see emotions can be defined as agitation or disturbance caused by strong FEELINGS. Once we are able to remove emotions from the situation and look at the hard facts then the solution is what the facts state they are. Now to do this is easier said than done so there are ways to approach overcoming this issue of emotions. Utilize your ability to communicate with others. Now that you understand that conflict has a direct correlation to emotions and a willingness to act on those emotions, let’s cover some was to approach managing conflicts. 

Roles of Personality Types in Conflict Management

     It is a part of human nature to label and catalog things. That does include labeling a person and that person’s personality. When talking about communication we have specific labels that I would like to address. You have those who are passive aggressive, those who are outgoing, and those who are introverts; those that are cold and calculating; those who are trustworthy; and those who will stab you in the back at the drop of a hat. Each of these types of people has their role in conflict management. As we have discussed in the section above EMOTION is the base factor in the conflict equations so to effectively manage conflict you must know how to manage emotions utilizing your personality as one of your many tools. You have heard the saying that your first impression is your most important. Why do they say that? Is it because this builds a foundation of what the person expects of you from that moment on. The answer is yes. How you are perceived goes a long way in communication. If people think that you are that are the go to person for something in particular you will find that you will resolve more conflicts about that specific thing. Sound simple but true. As being the only black person in an office filled with white people where ever there was an argument about what is consider black I was brought into the conversation to resolve that issue. Now I may not have known the correct answer, but I was perceived to know the correct answer simply because I was black. Now let’s test this theory on some other personalities.

     The Outgoing person, this is the person that talks to everyone about any and everything. They are known around as the person that speaks the truth about things no matter who feelings get hurt. These people are labeled as extraverts. If there is any type conflict where to that arose based on the truth needs to come out, would this be the personality that you would use to resolve the conflict, or would you go to one of the other personalities. I believe that this personality is one that everyone feels that they can relate to, because when people are asked how it is that they view themselves one of the big three traits that people believes that they are is Extraversion (Eysenck & Eysenck, 1985). When people communicate with others that are outgoing they see what they think are feel that they are in that outgoing person. In communication we feel at ease with those who are like us. Take for example this situation.

     Once I got older I began to realize that people responded to me in a more positive light when I began to be up front with them. No matter how harsh the truth is to people they are more willing to communicate with me because I am willing to tell things as is. Although in reality I only tell things as it is to a certain point I will hurt someone’s feeling to the point to want to come into work and start shooting up the place, but I will tell someone something to the point that they will make a positive change in their lives.

     Then I began to work in the office that I am currently apart of I made it a point to personally go to each and every section in my department to introduce myself personally. I want to have that face to face with each and every person that I would work directly and indirectly with. I spoke with everyone and began to get to know every one of them by personality first and then by reputation second. I opened up to each and every one of them no matter what their position was I treated each of them the same. I created an atmosphere to the point that they felt that they could come to me and talk about anything. I got majority able bodied males together to start playing basketball on Friday mornings. It is safe to say that I feel everyone knows what I am about. So when a conflict arose with me and some of the members of the department I felt that communicating through this conflict would be easy.

      One day my section was the cause of some of the other sections to stay later then what they normally do. My section was holding other sections back from leaving the department at two in the afternoon on a Friday. Needless to say that this made the other sections very angry about not being able to leave early. When it was all said and done my section and the others did not get to leave until six that evening. This compounded with the fact that we all came in at five thirty that morning made for an interesting conversation with the other sections on why I couldn’t get all the personnel through the process in a faster manner. Although this has happened many times from other sections the outcome was different from what has happened with other sections. At the end of the day the other sections that had to stay late came to me and expressed their anger about not getting out at two. They began to express their feeling about how much they disapproved if staying late. They then began to express how when they ran into this issue with other sections they would do things to their personnel to ensure that the personnel would not be able to make it through the process qualified, as if to suggest that this would happen to my personnel. They futher explained that because they felt that I was approachable that they would personnel come to me and express these feelings instead of sending their Commander to remedy the situation like they did with other sections. I listened and took the emotions out of the conversation and simply quoted the regulation and how it states that what I did that day was in the guidelines of what my section could do. I then continued to relay to them that I too wanted to get out at two in the afternoon and spend time with my family as well. I then told them that I couldn’t make any promises that I would have this happen again, but I would be very mindful of how long that I am holding the other sections back with my actions, and no matter what the regulations state I will do everything in my power to make sure that this isn’t a regular occurrence. Conflict was resolved and whenever it again the sections and I would make little jokes about it.

     The outgoing personality that I showed allowed others to feel comfortable with me and communicate their feeling (one half of the equation), and resolve any conflict that arose from it. Now this isn’t a solution for all conflicts that arises, but it is a good start. If conflict is majority product of emotions then the right play on emotions will help to resolve conflict. Now it you do the wrong play on emotion then you may not resolve the conflict. Let’s take a look at one play that has the tendency not to work.

     The Passive aggressive personality, this is the person that will beat around the bush to get to the point. This person will go behind you back to tell your business. A passive aggressive personality can jeopardize attempts that you may have a successful conflict resolution. In the example that I gave about, one of the other sections in my department had the same issue that I had with getting their personnel out in a timely fashion which created a conflict with that section and the department. Now in this case the person that was in charge of that section has this Passive Aggressive personality. There were many instances where the sections would come to him and ask him to do something or ask to get his input and was meet with this sarcasm that was viewed as a passive aggressive manner. The personnel running the department that was being held back felt that he had no way of getting his point across with on being retorted with some sort of sarcasm. Now once again the personnel in charge of the section was in the right because according to the regulations the department had to stay behind and work with the section to clear the personnel. This message was relayed back to the department head in a manner that he didn’t like so the conversation drew to a head with the department head taking the issue to his commanding officer to resolve the conflict that had developed. If one of them had been more open to the other to let them know how this situation affected them then conflict resolution could have occurred on their level, but the emotions involved coupled with willingness to act made for a volatile situations that had to be resolved at a much higher level.

     We have covered some personalities that can help or hinder the resolution of conflicts. Personality plays a major role in conflict management as demonstrated in this section. Now I used examples from some of my workplace conflicts and how those personalities affected the outcome on the conflicts now let’s cover how ethic and workplace conflicts work hand in hand.


Ethics and Workplace Conflicts

     Ethics is a code of morality a system of moral principles governing the appropriate conduct for a person or group. If a person’s moral principles are in direct conflict with the workplace’s moral principles then this will create a conflict that most times will not result in continuation of employment. It is become a common belief that what is right for the organization is right for the individual. The organizational imperative is do whatever is in the best interests of the organization this requires employees to be obedient to the decisions of superiors (Menzel pg7). In today’s society this may be in direct conflict with someone who was brought up in an era where doing right was just that doing right. Not doing what the organization tells you is right. In today economy finding a job is very hard, and because of that employer know that most people are willing to overlook their own personal ethics to do what their organization wants them to do. It is somewhat a fear mongering tactic used to get people to overlook their ethical and moral beliefs. Once this is done one too many times then you run into the individuals’ conscience tearing away at them. They then do one of two things act or conform. Here lays why a conflict could occur. 

     In the first section of why does conflict occur I covered that in order for conflict to happen there must be a level of conviction or willingness to act on the emotions. When you throw into the equation that a person’s livelihood hangs in the balance if they were to fight, then this takes the level of conviction and decreases it immensely. With the knowledge that a person may lose their jobs they will be willing to do things ethically that they would not do in a much better economic climate. In this example of ethics in the workplace we are looking at something simple as conducting personal business on company time.

     Because employees tend to spend so much of their weekday hours on the job, they often are tempted to conduct personal business on company time. This can include setting up doctor's appointments on company phone lines, making vacation reservations using their employer's computers and Internet connections or even making phone calls for a freelance side business while on company time. At first glance, this ethical dilemma is fairly clear: It is an abuse of your employer to conduct personal business on company time. But there are shades of gray here. What if your spouse calls to tell you that your children are ill? Is it OK for you to schedule a doctor's appointment? (Rafner) When you are in a situation like the above example will you not do any of these examples? Isn’t important that you take care of home? In some cases people will take the important of them being employed over that of taking care of what is most important to them. Image you spend ten to twelve year of your life missing recitals, missing weddings, your children’s sporting game, or missing the funerals of those closest to you just in the hopes to keep you job and then out the blue your hours of cut in half or you are fired. How would this make you feel? Are your emotions at this point so high that you would be willing to act on those emotions? Willing to tell that organization about what you have sacrificed for them to keep your job and then they just ignore you and your contributions that you have given to their organization? Well if you are am telling you that you have all the makings of a conflict. If it is your belief that if you do everything that you are told you will be rewarded (like most Americans) at the least with the same loyalty that you have given. Right? Well that isn’t the case, but if this is how you feel then you will most likely be prone to run into conflict.

     Ethics are nothing more than our strongest emotional beliefs. Just as we talked about earlier emotion drive conflict weather in the workplace or in personal life these conflicts will arise. Now I would like to do is shift the focus from the conflict created by the ethics in the workplace to some of the other conflicts created in the workplace.  

Organization Conflicts

     Organizational differences can create a conflict in the workplace. Back in 1999 I was station in Atlanta Ga. I worked with Sailors on NAS Atlanta. As a Marine on this Naval Air Station I was one of a very few Marines that were attached to this unit. In the beginning I and a few other Marines would get together in the morning before work and workout by running our three miles work on our upper body strength by doing pull ups and crunches. We did this every day because as Marines we get tested on how fast we ran three miles and how many pull ups and crunches we could do. In order to get promoted we would have to ensure that we could run as close to eighteen minutes as we could, we also had to try to get twenty pull up, and do one hundred crunches in two minutes. This is how you are recognized in the Marine Corps. You need this recognition to get promoted. I was one of those people that was on the cusp of be recognized as one of those Marines that was known to do that. I say that was all attributed to the fact that I worked out with my fellow Marines on a regular basis. Now after being on the base for six or seven months I think that the Navy go upset with the fact that I was not working out with the organization that I was attached to. According to their regulations they had to work out as well. Their workout routine was not as strenuous as the Marines’ was. They only ran for a mile and a half. They did pushup instead of pull ups, and they didn’t work on crunches that much. Physical fitness wasn’t as much of a factor in their promotions as it was for Marines, and it showed. So I was ordered to stop working out with my fellow Marines and to start working out with the Navy unit that I was attached to. I did and when I noticed that my own physical fitness score began to drop attempted to bring this up to the higher authorities and to my issues fell on deaf ears. At this point my I was emotionally upset and angered by the fact that I could not come to some type of compromise that I did not have the desire to act on the issue. I had a conflict that was resolved by me following the orders that were given to me. By me not having the desire to act on the conflict my physical fitness score dropped and it was noted in my evaluations by an Officer in Charge that had never seen me. One that could only go by what I look like on paper.

     The Marine Corps has different physical fitness standards then the Navy, and because of those differences and my convictions to not go above and beyond my comfort level I created a conflict in my workplace that affected my career. I was able to take the experience of working with another branch of service and use it to make me better as a much better rounded Marine and get my career back on track. Taking my emotions and placing them to the side and look at the facts. In the post Conflict in the Workplace one to the strategies that was suggested was to the view point. To try and understand the perspectives of both sides and what they want the other person to do (Godbole). I did that and without taking the situation personnel I realized that it looked bad that I was attached to the unit and did not work with the unit when it came to physical fitness. Although the Marines and Sailor are held to a different physical fitness standard I was still attached to that unit and so it was important to unit cohesion that I worked out with the unit. Even though the Navy would not allow me to workout with my fellow Marines I could still workout on my own time. I learned to eliminate the emotional aspect of my conflict with this Navy command and learned how to resolve conflicts better by looking at the other’s point of view.  

     Throughout this paper I have suggested the best way to resolve or manage conflict in any situation is to remove emotion, but not all conflicts can have emotions removed from them. Take for instance if there is a conflict between you and your spouse. Removing emotion from the situation could increase the conflict to the point of no solution. To which there is a way to resolve the conflict, and it is through Forgiveness.

Forgiveness
      When the Marine Corps told me that I would live in Seattle Washington I wasn’t to please with the idea. I am originally from Texas and having to live in a place that rains three hundred and ten days out of the year wasn’t my cup of tea. Now there is one thing that I was looking forward to. The one thing that I have come to like when having to change duty stations, and that’s the wonderful task of finding a new place to rent out for the next three years (this is a very sarcastic tone). Going into this situation I knew that we would have to get a home that could accommodate me creating a room for me to workout in. I know that since I would not be on a base I knew that I would have to be able to have some way to work out at home. Very important, because I would be judged on my physical fitness and I would not have the facilities that the base would offer, and the hours that I would be working it would only make since to have some where to workout at the house that we were renting out. My wife and I went through five or six homes that all seemed too small for my mindset. Then the next home that we looked at was perfect. The owner of the house had a lower level of the home that was perfect for what I needed. I told my wife that this house would be perfect. She looked at it and flat out said no. It wasn’t close enough to the job that I was going to work at and she was concerned with my safety. So the next house had a similar setup and was within walking distance of my new job and once again she said no this time she said that the price of the home was two much (although I was paying the rent). So without showing my anger we continued looking at homes. We found on that was small and that was somewhat of a drive for me back and forth from work due to traffic and she stated that this was the house that she wanted. I then protested and she began to cry. I didn’t understand why so I asked and she said that she felt as if she was not being included in the decision of getting the home. She stated that the homes that I liked were too big and that she did not want to have to clean such big homes on her own. I took it into consideration and said that we could get the smaller home. After being in the home and having to spend hours upon hour on the road everyday driving back and forth to work my wife states that she shouldn’t have pushed the issue of getting the house that we rented because I was hardly home and that I had such a long drive every day. The first time that she cried about the situation I could have allowed my anger come out and created a conflict that would have ended with us getting the home that I wanted in the first place, but I did not. When my wife made the statement about we should have gotten the other house I could have allowed my emotions to show and created a conflict there. Instead I did not. I removed the anger (emotional feeling) by saying to myself what will come from this, and just forgave her for pushing me into making a decision that I did not want to make. Instead I push through the long drives back and forth to and from work just to keep a happy home. To forgive her allows me to release the anger that I felt from making this decision and think logically what I could do to still get the end state of having a room to workout in, and I did just that. In an post about emotions affecting conflict resolution the author writes It is important to deal with anger directly and constructively. Responding to anger with anger never produces a positive result. Sometimes we need to just vent. Freed from the burden of unexpressed anger we can then move forward constructively. Never underestimate the power of an apology in negotiation (Unknown Author). This why allowing forgiveness to dictate my actions I was able to avoid and resolve the conflict that arose from our disagreement. 

     In conflict if emotions are involved then there will be no logical way out. Sometimes you have to give in and allow one party to be the victor. In ever conflict there is a victor. That victor is one side, the other side, or both sides. One way or another someone wins. The question is who is willing to place their emotions to the side and make a logical resolution to the conflict.

Summary

     When we understand what causes conflict this allows us to understand the different method and tools that we can use in our communication to resolve or manage conflict. Some of the factors that can go into how you manage conflict is how you are perceived by others, what it is that you are willing to do as person, if you are a company person or are you just loyal to yourself, and are you the win at any cost person or are you willing to give when it is necessary? Knowing what causes conflict and what type of person that you are will go a long way when it comes to resolving and managing conflict.




References



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A natural science approach. New York: Plenum Press. (Ashford ebrary)



Godbole, Medha (2010). Conflict Resolution in the Workplace retrieved from



http://www.buzzle.com/articles/conflict-resolution-in-the-workplace.html



Menzel, Donald C.. (2006) Ethics Management for Public Administrators :



Building Organizations of Integrity. Armonk, NY, USA: M.E. Sharpe, Inc. retrieved from



http://site.ebrary.com/lib/ashford/Doc?id=10178043&ppg=19



Rafner, Don (2012) Common Ethical Workplace Dilemmas Demand Media



http://smallbusiness.chron.com/common-ethical-workplace-dilemmas-748.html



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