In
managing conflict I have come to understand that all of my conflicts are in
direct correlation with my ability to communicate to other my intent or to
simply relate information in a matter that the receiving party can
understand. One thing that I have come
to appreciate is how a person’s background can affect their ability to
communicate to others. When you have
people from different walks of life attempting to communicate utilizing their dialect,
slang, position of authority, personal or even religious beliefs (or a lack
thereof) can play a major role in how communication can create conflict. This conflict can be intensified to a level
that of interpersonal conflict. Abigail
and Kahn (2011) pg. 3 defines interpersonal conflict as “a problematic
situation with the characteristics of the conflicting parties being
interdependent, and that there is a sense of urgency about the need to resolve
the difference.” Some years ago I found
myself in a problematic situation with a supervisor that at the time I felt had
it out for me.
Prelude
to conflict
At
the time of the incident I had been it the Marine Corps for eleven years. My rank (position) was that of an E-5. For Marines that were in my job I was
slightly behind in the “where you should be” ranking. There are other jobs in the Marine Corps that
rank up pretty fast. As a Marine no
matter what job you have, you will respect the rank first and far most. Those
who have been in for a long time understand that there is an unspoken
understanding that if there is a Marine that you outrank but have less time in
the Marine Corps you still so the respect that is owed them. During this time I had the perfect storm of a
situation that lead to my conflict. I
worked for a young E-6 that had been in the Marine Corps for six years. I showed the young Marine the respect that
she was due because of her rank despite the fact that she showed me no
respect. She treated me as we would a
new Marine to the Marine Corps. Despite
all that I still did what I was assigned to do which was to manage my command’s
training in specific the command rifle training. Schedule, Transport, and Organize the
hundreds of Marines that were assigned to the command. This day I had already submitted the names
of the personnel, arranged the transportation, and all other logistics in
advance. I then took the young troops and began to clean our work place. My supervisor asked me if I had worked on the
personnel that would be a part of the next rifle training. I then replied that “I got it”, then returned
to cleaning.
Trigger
Thirty minutes had passed since my
supervisor asked me if I had taken care of the personnel that would be doing
their rifle training. She asked me again,
and to which I had replied “I took care of them”. Then no more than five minutes later she
asked me the same question. To which I
replied “Oh no I forgot all about them”.
She then stated “ I thought that you said that you took care of it not
more than five minutes ago and….” She
understood what I told her the previous two times so why is she asking the same
question over and over?
Initiation
At
that point I stopped her and said “Ok that means that you understood me the
first two times so why are we going over
the same things over and over again?”
Differentiation
She
stated that the way that I answered her was with an attitude and she wanted me
to answer her with more respectfulness, or she would have me written up and
ensure that I did not get promoted again.
Not only would she ensure that I would get written up I would no longer
be able to work in that office.
Resolution
I
replied with an attitude that I answered her question and took the latter of
the consequences. I was then removed
from the work place and was no longer in a situation where our communication
differences would be an issue, but since the conflict stemmed from this
confusing supervisor-worker relationship the best solution was remove the
conflicting parties from the situation.
Conclusion
Bellafiore
(1998-2011) stated that “some people use power and influence to resolve
conflict is.” I felt as if my supervisor did this to belittle me. My supervisor thought the use of her rank and
position would resolve the conflict in a manner that would satisfy her
ego. It resolved the conflict, but not
in the way she was expecting. Once I was out of that environment my
supervisor and I were cool after that. Removing the conflicting parties from a
volatile situation like that was the best way to manage the conflict. After
taking it out I had come to find out that my supervisor felt that way that I
talked to her was disrespectful, and she learned that was the way that I
talked, it had nothing to do with respect or disrespect it was just how I
communicate.
References
References
Donna Bellafiore (1998-2011) Interpersonal Conflict and Effective Communication, retrieved from http://www.drbalternatives.com/articles/cc2.html
Ruth Anna Abigail, Dudley D. (2011) Cahn Managing Conflict Through Communication VitalSource eBook for
Ashford University Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Allyn &
Bacon, 75 Arlington Street, Suite 300, Boston, MA 02116
Comments
Post a Comment